Choose Your Own Adventure Series: Poll The Third

dungeon guard
Originally uploaded by nuovostrada

Amidst your whirlwind tour of Europe, you decide to see an ancient dungeon that hasn't been publicized very much, but sounds really interesting to you. As you approach the doorway to the dungeon you get a chill of excitement. You're greeted by a heavy-set blond guy who opens the heavy wooden doors that thud with a thunderous clamor as he opens the way for you to enter. You look closely at this man and hesitate. But then that voice in the back of your mind says, "Don't chicken out, this is the kind of experience that leads to the very best stories." So you proceed into the dark staircase that descends to the dungeon. Your hefty guide follows behind. He points to the right and you continue toward a doorway of some kind that has a faint light beyond it. You enter a room full of fascinating artifacts and all sorts of old stuff! "Wow!" you exclaim.
Suddenly the doorway you just walked through is slammed shut and the hefty blond man begins speaking in a surprisingly high-pitch voice: "You can't leave! You must first pass... A TEST!" He then let out a weird bellowing laugh. You shrink into a nearby chair.
He continues, "You must do one of the following things before you can leave. You could," he gestures to a television that you hadn't noticed before, "watch 18 hours of 'The View!'" He lets out another disturbing laugh. "You could eat a steak, that has a 50% chance of killing you with food poisoning!" he points to the old table to your left that does indeed hold a platter with a steak. "You could search for the hidden passage to... the sewer pipes! You can call my cousin, Sven, who doesn't speak any English and hope he can help you out of here." He chuckles, "Or you could try and fight your way out, but I have other guards that are hidden. Your last option is to enter to local hot dog eating contest that has been won for the last 12 years by Kobayashi!" He pauses for a while with a big grin and folds his huge arms. "What will it be?"

So, what do you choose?

Eat the steak.

Make the phone call to Sven.

Search for the passageway to the sewer.

Watch "The View" for 18 hours.

Enter the hot dog eating contest in hopes that you can win.

Go all Jason Bourne and kick some serious trash out of your captor, only to be shot moments later by a guard.