That's Captain Crazypants to you!

So, you're one of those people who can scour the Internet and find awesome deals in hidden places.  You've launched yourself on another inexpensive adventure aboard a new cruise line.  The problem? The ships' crew is very new and this is their first voyage.  Unbeknownst to the cruise line, they've hired a loony for this ship's captain.   As the ship gets within a few hours of its first port destination, he announces over the PA that only a select few will be able to disembark to see the sights.  He asks everyone to gather in the auditorium for further details.  As you get to the auditorium you notice the captain on a giant monitor.  You take your seat just as he begins, "Hello folks!  I will keep this brief.  Only 5 of you are going to be able to take a small dinghy into the port.  I will not take the ship any closer to this port, because I don't really like it.  The five of you who make the most accurate Yak, Octopus, Armadillo, Lynx, or Tuna sound will be able to leave.  I will give the five of you a compass and directions.  You must be back within 24 hours.  Now, let's begin.  You there, in the end seat on my left of the first row, which animal noise will you make?" The crowd is seemingly just going to go along with this madman.  Most people seem to assume it's all a joke.  So, people start making their noises one by one.  The captain sits silently listening to them all.  Before you know it, it's your turn.  So, which animal noise will you make?

Stinkphone?

You dropped your smartphone in the toilet.  We're talking pre-flushed toilet.  What do you do?