Choose Your Own Adventure Series: Poll The Second

That Bastard Elvis Never Returns My Calls Anymore
Originally uploaded by Friendly Joe

You and your good pal Gloria are out on the town and bored out of your skulls. Gloria spots a tent with a blazing neon sign that reads: "Lady Quailhollow, Fortune Teller." You laugh and joke that you two should go try it. Gloria is serious and says, "Let's do it!" Your smile quickly fades and you're scared. You've had an odd fear of creepy old ladies since you were 8 and that creepy old lady started barking at you. You step back and say, "Uh... no, maybe we should go bowling." Gloria grabs your arm and pulls you toward the tent. You keep trying to fight her on the point, but Gloria gets you into the tent which has an eerie green glow about it. Then she appears, Lady Quailhollow.

Lady Quailhollow gestures for you and Gloria to take a seat. Then, to your surprise, she holds out her hand toward Gloria and says, "Is this your first time having your fortune told, Gloria?" Gloria says, "WOW! How did you know my name?" Lady Quailhollow shrugs and replies, "Your friend just said it." Gloria laughs and hands the creepy lady her palm, "Yes, it is my first time." Lady Quailhollow takes Gloria's hand and closes her eyes and lets out a long heaving sigh. She then opens her eyes and says, "You're about to become more wealthy. Did you recently purchase an item of clothing?" Gloria nods. Lady Quailhollow continues, "Check your pockets. There's treasure there for you." Gloria hesitates, and then checks the pockets of her jacket. She pauses and pulls a $100 bill out of her jacket pocket and shouts, "Woot! That's SO awesome!" Gloria then turns to you and says, "Your turn! You try it!"

Surprising yourself you give your palm to Lady Quailhollow. She flinches violently as she takes your hand. Her face takes on a menacing look, she then stares you in the eye and says, "Your fortune is very dark indeed." ...

So, what do you choose to do?

Ask her to keep going, but to just give it to you straight.

Ask her to just sugar coat it.

Announce your suspicion that Lady Quailhollow slipped the $100 bill into Gloria's pocket, and slap Lady Quailhollow.

Kiss Lady Quailhollow, and bid her farewell.

Think to yourself, "Lady Quailhollow actually resembles a quail." Stand and leave the tent.

Giggle.